The Real Border Crisis...
The situation at the border has become so alarming that Mr Wanderfool finally had to investigate. There’s unfinished construction. Mass amounts of people crossing unimpeded. Misinformation on social media. Spotty news coverage. What exactly is happening at our most critical border…the one between North and South Carolina. Is it open or closed? And where is Pedro!? We need answers to this South of the Border crisis.
Clearly something is afoot with North America’s most iconic fuel stop. The I-95 journey as we know it has been threatened. There are rumors that the whole operation is folding. Unsubstantiated reports that the big sombrero monument itself has fallen… like Stalin to the east, Robert E. Lee to the north and Bob’s Big Boy everywhere. Here we sit in the dark as 60 Minutes and Dateline focus on other borders. Some far away lines in the sand that have zero impact on a trek to Disney World. Places without a pecan log in sight. You, my amigos, deserve the truth.
History: South of the Border
Before we brush up on current affairs, we need to remember that all great empires rise and fall. There are lessons to be learned from history. Let’s go back in time….
The story starts around 1949 in the sleepy border town of Dillon, SC. It was a simpler era. There were no interstates or Magic Kingdoms. Most of America had never seen a taco. An enterprising local entrepreneur named Alan Shafer started a beer stand just across the state line from Robeson County N.C., a jurisdiction which happened to be dry. Not surprisingly, business was good. He named it South of the Border Beer Depot. As a prelude to the stimulating architecture for decades to come, he painted the structure pink.
Funded by beer sales, Shafer took a trip to Mexico and speculated that the nick knacks he found there would be coveted by the folks back in Carolina. He established a supply chain of assorted trinkets to sell in his beer stand and he even brought back two Mexican fellas to work on site. They adopted the nickname Pedro. Both of them. A star was born.
Shafer’s intuition proved accurate and business grew. He added a motel, cocktail lounge and gas station. North Carolina’s prudish laws presented a second ripe opportunity for retail. Fireworks were banned in the Tarheel state. So he’d sell ’em alcohol and fireworks, in that order. Complementary product lines at every 4th of July party and emergency room. The result was another win for South Carolina and for Shafer. To this day, the fireworks laws favor the lower Carolina and every teenage boy on the east coast knows you gotta find your way to the Palmetto State to get explosives.
South of the Border history
Business was solid. Shafer had successfully capitalized on the market forces presented to him. Yet even he could not have imagined that in 1964, interstate 95 would be constructed right by his little enterprise. To top it off, the thoroughfare would include a big, beautiful interchange serving his site. Better than a winning lotto ticket. Surely he saw each passing car with dollar err uh peso signs in his eyes.
With the interstate cut in and more and more Americans traveling, South of the Border grew exponentially. It expanded to restaurants, mini golf, a barbershop and about anything else you could think of that a motorist may or may not need after many hours on the road.
Changing the skyline
The money was rolling in but the project demanded a signature statement. Something iconic. Perhaps inspired by a weeks long tequila binge, Shafer had a vision of a towering sombrero to ensure his site could never be passed unnoticed. Sure enough a 104 foot structure rose from the flat terrain and for a couple bucks, you could even ride up to the top. Take in the view. To the north, I-95 as far as you could see. To the south, I-95 as far as you could see. Spectacular.
Sign, Sign Everywhere a Sign
An impressive compound had emerged but to a marketeer like Shafer, one could not rely on an impulse detour to generate traffic even with the world’s tallest sombrero beckoning. Something had to be done to build up desire and anticipation. He didn’t have social media but he had an unlimited amount of miles to work with. So he started installing billboards. And more billboards. Like every few miles and then as you got closer, stacked em up like dominos. The broken English slogans and corny puns were created by Shafer himself. Or maybe direct from the Pedros, royalty free. At the peak, there were more than 250 billboards up and down the east coast. The overhead for the signs alone had to rival the gross domestic product of Mexico at the time.
The Border Experience
That’s the quick history of how this 350 ac multicultural mecca came to be. Over the years, we of eastern U.S. heritage all had our own memories of the ultimate road trip oasis.
For me it was mystery. My family look at least 2 long journeys a year down I-95. Yet we stopped at South of the Border a total of zero times in either direction. I was just another bright-eyed, unbuckled kid staring out the window thinking someday I’ll be my own captain and take that exit. Meet Pedro. Stand atop the sombrero.
Daydreams aside, the rules of engagement in our wood paneled wagon were clear. We kiddos were allowed to point out the signs and pretend to understand the meanings of the puns. Free entertainment courtesy of Pedro but that’s as far as it went. We knew there would be no detours. No chili dogs, arcades nor fireworks. And certainly no trips to the top of the sombrero.
With the cruise control set at 55, we had to make time. Plus mom packed sandwiches. Dad knew a stop there would take five times as long as an official rest area and result in a massive conflict over souvenirs and junk food. Dad against the kids. The kids against dad. Then eventually, mom against dad. It was a no-win scenario for dad. So he kept the pedal to the metal.
South of the Border South Carolina
It was not until adulthood that I was free to count down those mile markers with my course set for exit 1. In one of life’s great ironies, I finally conquered the glorious off ramp only to find the moment had passed. Seems my old man was right all along. The food wasn’t my thing. That long coveted black and yellow bumper sticker was getting nowhere near my vehicle. The fuel was 10 cents higher a gallon. And I had no interest in ascending up the sombrero to view I-95. The magic was gone.
is South of the Border closed
Truthfully, I only patronized a restroom on that bittersweet day. It was an odd experience. The facility was huge. There I stood smack dab in the middle of an expansive wall of urinals, all within a dimly lit bunker ready to accommodate church busses and the Hells Angels. I pondered how many friends had passed thru. How many ticked off dads. How many serial killers.
South of the Border South Carolina
While potty time privacy is gold, this massive mens room was awkwardly empty. It had an eerie vibe to it. Like something out of a slasher flick. I finished my business quickly. With each passing second I expected to hear “I want to play a game” and envisioned myself landing in Saw 14, with Spanish subtitles. I exited without washing.
South of the Border visit
What did I miss on site? There’s the reptile exhibit featuring a variety of snakes caged indoors (fees apply)…plus some lot lizards roaming free around the trucks after hours (fees apply).
A mini amusement park serves as a warm up act to the headliners down south. Food offerings abound from authentic squirt cheese nachos to the Peddler Steakhouse. The surf and turf entrée there will set you back $33. Yes dollars not pesos.
what happened to South of the Border
There is a big ol RV park and of course the famous motel. Sure it’s basic accommodations and may not get a top rating from the uninformed on your favorite booking site. Ah but what they don’t know is a honeymoon suite exists for select VIPs. If you play your cards right and it’s not wedding season, you may be able to score that room. (reference our tip guide). Talk about starting the first night of your vacay off with a bang!
One has to wonder how this honeymoon suite came about and who stands as the target market. I’d like to think it’s for the high school sweethearts who just got hitched. Two lovebirds still in wedding attire escaping their small Appalachian town. Even though Myrtle Beach is only one more hour away, they can’t wait another minute to consummate the marriage. Kinda romantic really. Especially if he treats her to the Peddler Steakhouse.
Then again, is it possible there are couples out there who actually choose South of the Border for their honeymoon destination? Who is this secret society. Is it the same clandestine sect who eats dinner at Waffle House?
I probed the matter thoroughly and while I found a pic or two, I was unable to uncover a verified account of a stay in the honeymoon suite. One can only deduce that the clientele for a wedding night there is not prone to admitting to it. The few who would speak openly on the subject likely do not have internet access. So it remains a mystery.
The Fall of Pedro
Whatever the customer base, the dollars have been green at Exit 1 and South of the Border is an American success story. However like so much in these enlightened times, there was a twist in the plot decades in the making. Pedro and his broken English were deemed culturally insensitive. The billboards started to change and disappear way back in the late 90s. Pedro may have been the first pop culture figure to be cancelled. It was long before sports team mascots were benched and Aunt Jemima got the pink slip. Even Ronald McDonald and his degenerate posse carried on for many years after Pedro was sent packing.
The Future of the Border
All this takes us to today. We are at a crossroads more impactful than the very interchange on which South of the Border sits. Will all references to Pedro be removed? Must the entire schtick be retired? Should the compound be scraped to make room for an outlet mall and a TGIF? Revolution is in the air as thick as the smell of churros.
To make matters worse, the fundamental business model has become tenuous. Electric cars and less gas being sold. A trend toward healthier food. Fireworks bans everywhere. Roadside cocktails frowned upon. Uppity brides with lofty standards for their honeymoon social media posts. The challenges are daunting.
It’s no wonder the survivability of the whole shebang has come into question. Rumblings boosted by the recent closures on site and the work crews. Construction or demolition? End of an era? Is this critical border open or closed?
South of the Border closed
Fortunately, this one stays open. The ownership insists they are renovating. Modernizing both physically and figuratively. You will still be able to pull over for a pecan log. Buy a bottle rocket. Indulge in the honeymoon suite. You’ll just have to do it without Pedro as we know him. Less signs with Pedro, as a greater sign of the times.
South of the Border I95
But make no mistake about one thing: The towering sombrero stays. It shall continue to reign over the interstate and pull in our steel chariots like a giant magnet. So don’t fight the numero uno exit. Take it with an open mind and wallet. Pedro still says welcome to South of the Border amigos…but now in proper English.
