10 Bucket List Trip Hacks -
for big dreams and empty wallets...
Countless travel blogs are out there to help fulfill your bucket list. If you have unlimited time and resources, you can do it just like they say. Mr Wanderfool understands that bucket lists are not just for trust fund babies. As such, this guide prevails for those willing to consider going the trip hacks slummin’ route. We cover the international versions done first class and stateside alternatives on the cheap. All budgets are accommodated from luxury to free. Granted a few minor compromises may need to be made…
African Safari
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So many have dreamed about an African safari since childhood. It’s a tough get, involving quite a distance and challenging conditions. Once there, you discover those critters in the wild are not packed together like they are in The Lion King. Nor is there a Marriott near the giraffes. You need to book with someone who can make sure you are safe and comfortable. Try the Micato Safaris luxury tour. For 10 days it starts at $13,000.
You can go cheaper. It somewhat depends on if you want to witness the circle of life or risk being a part of it.
The ‘Fool’s alternative is Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge in Orlando. How does it sound to grab your room key and within minutes, find yourself sipping a pina colada by the pool while the giraffes peep at you. Just like a page out of Jungle Book. Plus you can zip over to Disney World and Universal Studios when the animals get boring. Maybe a round of golf too. You won’t find those options in the Serengeti.
All that adventure comes at a price though and the Animal Kingdom Lodge ain’t cheap at about $600 a night. Feeding giant beasts is expensive and Disney stock soars for a reason.
Trip Hacks slummin guide
The ‘Fool’s backup plan is the Orbit One Vacation Villas just a mile up the street. You are king of the jungle at only $55 a night. You’ll have to trade the poolside views of African lions for native cougars, but it’s a quality property. One that gives you direct access to an IHOP in the morning before your safaris. Make the experience authentic by hiking to the animal park in the Florida heat dressed like Steve Irwin. Just look both ways before crossing the highway.
Whatever your lodging budget, the good news is flights to Orlando are easy and rental cars are affordable. With park tickets, total estimated cost for 3 nights is $2200 if you stay at the Animal Kingdom. Only $700 if you rough it in the nearby concrete jungle.
Not interested in mixing it up with wild creatures in a hostile environment? Especially those in minivans wearing mouse ears?? Can’t blame you. Check this out. It’s like the Sportscenter top ten version of safari highlights.
Oktoberfest
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Germany. What could be better than a national festival that lasts over half a month and the whole point is to drink beer all day. Yea you need to make this happen. Hire a tour agency that will set you up in the best tents to chug bottomless high octane brews. Then drag you back afterward to reverse the process at the toilette in a top notch hotel room. Rinse, repeat.
Look into Insight Vacations. For $4400 you can pound beers for 11 days. With flight etc it tallies about $5500. Note the post trip detox treatment and blood transfusion may run the cost up two or three times, depending on your copay.
Is Germany too far and expensive just to drink beer? More of a lager fan anyway? We got ya covered with the Zinzinnati Oktoberfest. (That’s sorta German for Cincinnati). They have the best fest in the U.S. and pack it into 3 days. While you may see less lederhosen and cleavage, the food is better. Forget Bavarian soft pretzels. Cincy is legendary for chili. Three days of overindulgence in beer and chili. God help the poor soul next to you on the flight home.
Book way in advance at the Zinzinnati Renaissance (stumbling distance) for around $500 a night. Add in flight and it’s a $2000 weekend binge. (Not including the brews).
Do you prefer the travel free option for your beer drinking adventures? Well this is one of the simplest bucket list trip hacks. Go to the grocery store and buy a couple cases. Be authentic and get St Pauli Girl or Beck’s. No, Pabst is not German. Grab a big bag of pretzels. Not store brand. Snyders of Hanover. Maybe some sauerkraut. Bonus points if you wear lederhosen.
Trips hacks Slummin and humor
Northern Lights
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Who doesn’t aspire to experience the awe of the northern lights? A true wonder of the world. There is no better place than Iceland in the wintertime. Want to do it up right? Try a private 7 night luxury tour through Nordic Visitor. They will zig zag you all over that island and turn you on to scenery that will amaze. The tour will set you back roughly $6500 plus flight. $7500 give or take.
Just keep in mind that wintertime in a place called Iceland might be a tad chilly. Plus those lights can be hit or miss. A mighty big investment for something that does not involve white sand and a tiki bar when all else fails.
As such, the ‘Fool is here to let you know the aurora borealis can be witnessed in none other than Michigan. Not Detroit, though that’s a good place to fly into. Rent a car at the airport and drive 4 hrs north to St Ignace. Grab a room at Bear Cove Inn, with its 9.4 star review, for only $119 a night. Bundle up and take the $39 round trip ferry over to Mackinac Island. You’ll feel like you are in another country, at least until you warm up with a cocktail and dinner at the Yankee Rebel Tavern. Get one more round before heading out to see the show in the sky. Winning.
Cost for 3 nights runs $400. Plus flight and rental car. Call it $900
Still too much and too cold? The bucket list trip hacks version is easy, warm and comfy. Turn off the lights. Make a fire. Loop this on the big screen.
Great Wall of China
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Here’s another bucket list topping wonder of the world but this one is manmade. How great is this wall? Estimates vary because much of it disappeared eons ago but it is/was somewhere between 5,000 and 13,000 miles long. For reference the U.S. is 2800 miles wide. It took about 2300 years to build the whole thing. That’s slightly longer than it takes to add a couple lanes to the interstate around here.
The metrics for the Great Wall are staggering, just as they are for the travel to get there. Plan to spend 15 to 22 hrs flying to China. Then you’ll have to be transported around and deal with hotels etc. So if you’re gonna do it, align with someone like Kensington Tours. Their package will run you in the neighborhood of $8000 for 13 days. Plus flight. $9000 range.
How could the ‘Fool possibly find any bucket list trip hacks for this on the homefront? Admittedly a challenge. Had to resist the obvious temptation to send you to our southern border. Instead I direct you north to the uhh um Pine Grove Cemetery in Lynn, Mass. It boasts the second longest contiguous stone wall in the world at over 2.5 miles. Not too shabby. It’s an effective wall too. Very few try to get in and no one gets out.
Trip Hacks slummin satire
You can fly into Boston and be at that wall in 30 minutes. Make the experience authentic by staying in the Chinatown district. Try the HI Boston Hotel for $200 a night. Check in and take an uber to the cemetery. Unlike China, you can climb all over this wall and maybe grab a little keepsake stone without fear of being shot.
Head back to Chinatown where all sorts of authentic cuisine awaits. Get something exotic, although I do not recommend ordering Dragon in the Flame of Desire no matter how lovely the name sounds.
Total cost for 1 night $250. Plus an easy flight into Boston. Say $500 all in.
Not impressed with Chinatown and a cemetery wall? Or maybe your last fortune cookie advised that a penny saved is a penny earned. Ok then order Chinese takeout and watch this on a device made in Hong Kong.
travel hacks slummin.
Stonehenge
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Let’s highlight another ancient structure that has fascinated mankind: the mysterious Stonehenge in England. How did they build it? What was the science? Most perplexing, why did they have to put it so far from London?
Indeed, this creation is in the middle of nowhere about 2.5 hrs from the city. The normal experience involves heading out in the rental car and trying to figure out how to drive in the left-hand lane. You’ll be encouraged by lots of cheery two finger salutes from fellow motorists. Wave back. Eventually you arrive at the Stonehenge site. Take it in for about 15 minutes before saying eh. Snap a pic. Hit the loo. Then head back for the long return trip on the wrong side of the road.
A 5 night stay in London, flight and rental car is going to set you back around $2500.
Trip hacks humor
Fortunately England is not the only place that had some smart ancestors and/or alien visitors. Save all the trouble and just wiki the Brit’s Stonehenge. Make the actual trip to America’s Stonehenge. Never heard of it? It’s in Salem, New Hampshire. Heck that even sounds like England.
Someone (or something) built it a long time ago and it’s said to have astrological relevancy. Plus it’s made in the USA. Boom.
Interestingly, the area is also a hotbed of UFO sightings. Coincidence? I think not.
The cool thing is Boston is only 36 miles away. Clam chowder instead of Shepherd’s Pie. Add it to the above Semi-Great Wall trip and it’s a two for one bucket list for $500.
If you would rather just stay at home and learn about these fascinating structures remotely, this clip is the best resource out there.
Running of the Bulls
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The annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain deserves a place on every red-blooded guy and gal’s bucket list. It involves a trip to a fantastic country, lots of drinking and some potential danger. Maybe even a chance to go viral if you are a slow runner. Avoid the hostels and cheap seats. Do it in style with an outfit like Sanfermin Tours. For 4 days you’ll spend $3500. Experts tip: add the hospitalization insurance. Total cost with flight is roughly $4300.
Danger factor about 6 depending on level of sangria.
Want to get physical with bovines without spending the cash? The ‘Fool recommends you go late night to a pasture near you and try cow tipping. All that’s required is some moonshine. The cows are cooperative. Cost: free.
Danger factor about 1 depending on level of moonshine. If the farmer wakes then it spikes to at least 9.
The travel hacks slummin blog.
Venice Gondola
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This one is for the romantics. How dreamy would it be for you and your special someone to be paddled through Venice, Italy. It doesn’t get any better than that. Don’t be cheap about it. Make it sensazionale by booking with Italy Luxury Tours. It will run you $8000 for 10 days. Adding the flight puts you at 9K. That’s Amore!
The ‘Fool understands that a cheaper option has to be in play, so thank heavens for Vegas. The Venetian Hotel and Casino has you covered with a pretty dang good gondola ride for $34 pp weekdays and $39 on weekends. A stay at the Venetian will tack on about $400 a night but it’s not a necessity. Grab a room off the strip for 60 bucks. Get your significant other in the Italia frame of mind with pasta from the hotel buffet. Then head to the Venetian.
With an easy flight to Vegas, you are maxing out for 3 nights at $470. (note if you hit the casino you will likely be in the hole about the same as an actual trip to Venice, thus voiding your bucket list trip hacks guarantee).
Still want the romantic experience but you’re broke from the last Vegas trip? Borrow a canoe and take your sweetie to a nearby pond. It’s peaceful and relaxing. Tip for the fellas: Paddling can be tiring. Take a turn.
Maldives or Bora Bora
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Maldives or Bora Bora. Both make the list for offering those amazing over water bungalows you see in Instagram photos. White sand. Crystal clear water. Incredible service. Exotic locale. This is special. Check out the Maldives Waldorf. It’s about $2800 per night which puts 7 nights at the $20k mark. Add in flights and you’re pushing $22,500. Ouch.
But hey for a honeymoon!? You only get to do that two or three times in your life right. Go for it.
If it’s say your 4th honeymoon, it may be wise to replicate the experience stateside. However there is a challenge. Our sea conditions and environmental regs do not accommodate the construction of overwater facilities.
Fortunately, the ‘Fool found you Tiki-suites in Key west. It’s cheaper at $700 night and of course much better flights than the other side of the planet. In full disclosure there is no calm, clear water or white sand or even service. It’s just you, your companion and the hut. Hmm. If cabin fever sets in, you can paddle to shore solo in the dark of night, make regrettable decisions at Sloppy Joes and Garden of Eden, and be back before sunrise. Can’t do that in Maldives or Bora Bora.
Tiki-suites are pricey as far as bucket list trip hacks but at least they don’t require a second mortgage like the real version. 3 nights including flight for approx $2700.
If you’d rather just explore the concept before making an investment, watch Couples Retreat. It was filmed at the St Regis in Bora Bora.
Funny Trip hacks for travel
Swimming with pigs
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This unique experience takes place in gorgeous Exumas Bahamas. Friendly aquatic pigs live on the island and they are thrilled to swim in those clear waters with you. (As long as your card goes through). Relax at the fantastic Grand Isle Resort for $800 a night and then boat to Big Major Cay aka Pig Beach for $350 a person. Pack a lunch, just no ham sandwiches.
These little piggies may not go to market but they know how to market. You’re looking at about $4400 for 4 nights and one dip with the oinkers.
There’s gotta be an easier way to swim with swine and indeed the ‘Fool has you covered. Catch a flight down to Jacksonville, Florida. Then hop on a Greyhound to Fargo, Georgia which puts you right on the Okefenokee Swamp.
Trip Hacks Slummin for fun
There are thousands of wild pigs rooting around in those waters and not a credit card machine in sight. Granted these are not friendly little piggies. In fact they are pretty ferocious and may attack humans. Plus there are snakes and gators galore in the swamp. All in all a bit more challenging than the Bahamas but it’d make a helluva profile pic. A better one in my opinion. That’s what it’s all about right.
The upside is this excursion doesn’t cost a dime. Heck, you can even make a few bucks on a bet beforehand at Jill Billy’s Bar in Fargo. Good chance you’ll come out of that swamp ahead…if you come out.
Considering the above, this bucket list trip hacks version nets out as free.
Road trip baja mexico
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One of the coolest throwback adventures is a road trip down the Baja coast into Mexico. Imagine: no one to tell you where to be. Unspoiled beaches. Blue water. Fishing. Beautiful terrain. Authentic eats. A stop in Tijuana for shopping and traditional late night shows. Once in a lifetime trip here.
Cost can vary greatly. You can pack a tent and hop on your old motorcycle. Or you can do it in a million dollar RV. Your call. No excuses based on budget.
Let’s say it’s not a dollars or pesos issue holding you back. Maybe you are more worried about safety. The cartels and the Sicario series got ya spooked. If so the ‘Fool gives you South of the Border.
Sure it’s on the opposite coast but America’s most iconic fuel stop offers so much of old Mexico packed into one easy I95 offramp. There’s shopping for trinkets. Tacos. Margaritas. Discount cigarettes, etc. Plus the added benefit of attractions like a sombrero tower, rides and a reptile exhibit. You might even encounter lot lizards in their natural habitat at the truck stop.
So much fabulousness that the ‘Fool has a whole feature on this multicultural mecca. Pedro says el clicko. Cost is free amigos, other than the necessities and souvenirs you will pick up for the road.
Bucket List Trip Hacks Slummin
The beauty of travel is you can pursue new and amazing experiences at so many price points. The key is to commit to it. Dream big. Factor in budget. Then explore your own bucket list trip hacks.
Save some bucks where you can. Spend some where it matters. Decide your priorities beforehand. Do you value five star accommodations? Or extra cash to bribe your way out of a stint in an overseas prison? Tough calls but you’ll figure it out. There’s always the trip hacks slummin’ route. So don’t worry about the wallet. The ‘Fool’s advice is to empty it… as well as your bucket before you kick it.
