Belize It or Not...
You’ve probably heard something great about this Caribbean destination but should you Belize it or not? Sunburned down to the fingertips, I peck away at this Belize trip report to answer the question, at least as far as the tourist hub of Ambergris Caye. It’s such a lovely name, so let’s start there to tap into some tropical paradise vibes.
Caye means island. Ahh yes. Ambergris means a waxy substance regurgitated from the stomachs of sperm whales. Ahh uhh whaaat. Clearly the founding chamber of commerce was short sighted on that one. So on second thought, let’s look past names and focus on what we discovered along the 25 mile long island and its main “city” of San Pedro.
Disclaimer: Be assured we witnessed no hardships or regurgitations involving whales. Only tourists.
Belize Deets
A few random facts about this nation that you may find unbelizeable (ok last of the puns): The country was known as the British Honduras until 1973 and it shares a border with Mexico. Indeed, if you keep heading north, you will end up in Cancun. Flights to Belize City are abundant from both eastern and western U.S. English is spoken everywhere, though various Spanish/creole languages and dialects are also common.
The U.S. dollar is universally accepted in conjunction with the Belize dollar. In fact, the Belize currency is based on the U.S. dollar at 2 to 1. So you can shop, eat and drink all vacation and tell yourself everything is half off. That ratio also makes for the easiest monetary conversion in the world. Yet somehow we found ourselves struggling to calculate tabs, especially late night at tiki bars. The good news is we were not penalized for our declining math skills and not a single server failed to hand back cash when we were about to pay double. Hospitality as warm as the climate.
Some notable boxes have already been checked in this trip report as far as travel destinations: flights, currency, language, friendly natives and sunshine.
Belize trip reporting
Belize Trip Logistics
Once you land in Belize City, you have two options to cross over to Ambergris Caye: ferry or puddle jumper flight. But not so fast. There is work to do in the BZE airport before you switch to island mode.
Assuming you are not staying at an all-inclusive (and you shouldn’t be), you need to stock up on essentials. So be advised import spirits are a whopping three times more expensive on the island than the big airport’s duty free store. Buy your favorite brands before heading to Ambergris. The only exception is rum, which is locally produced and inexpensive everywhere. Belizean rum is excellent and it’s much more fun to be drinking the local stuff.
Belize Trip Reporting
As long as you promise security that you didn’t exceed the four liter per person limit, it’s time to head to Ambergris. Forget the ferry. That’s a 20 min cab ride away and then a long, hot ride of 1.5 hr trip to the island. It will not be a pleasure cruise and you may already be down one liter of booze before you disembark.
Take the puddle jumper. It’s affordable and the best money you will spend. The flight is all of 15 min and a scenic way to get the trip started. The Tropic Air or Maya Air experience is like an adventurous, fun excursion in its own right. Crowded airports, stuffy rules, and TSA nonsense will be distant memories. Get to the tiny departure gate early because you are cleared for takeoff as soon as everyone shows up. Does United ever offer that?
The plane seats about 10 plus the copilot, who happens to be a lucky chosen passenger. I’m not sure what criteria go into the selection. I just know I positioned myself for shotgun but got bumped by the captain for my lovely companion. Almost as savage as seating on Southwest.
Ambergris Trip report
The preflight safety briefing consists of very little that might be expected when traversing ocean waters in a single engine plane from the cold war era. No references to seatbelts, flotation cushions, emergency exits, shark repellant…nuttin. Just an encouragement not to spill your drink. The only stern instruction was a placard advising the copilot not to touch the controls. Sound policy and perhaps that’s why I was not selected. To her credit she adhered perfectly to this directive. Thus I will be mounting that same sign on my vehicle dash.
Belize Fun
Once in the air, you are treated to views of turquoise waters and a narration by the pilot. He pointed out reefs, sharks, and manatees. Not a single reference to turbulence, staying seated or refraining from smoking. It was like flying in the golden age and I’m a fan.
Before you finish your beverage, the plane is touching down at the tiny San Pedro airport and your bags are offloaded by the time the lone prop quits spinning. In what’s certain to become the norm for flights on Frontier, the pilot will happily accept a tip.
Ambergris Caye
Taxi or Uber from the airport? Neither! This island is about the golf cart and yours should be waiting for you right there by the runway. Ambergris is one of the few destinations where you hop from plane to golf cart and arrive at the resort in minutes. We had a six-seater for our foursome and the good folks at Avis (no relation to car rental outfit) had their rep lead us to the Alaia hotel with his rig loaded with our bags. Don’t sweat parking as the resorts have ample room for your cart. Also don’t look for the charging outlet. These are good ol gas powered models and while some may condemn such a barbaric vehicle, I can vouch for its efficiency. We didn’t even empty the tank after 5 days of use.
Belize Trip reports
Golf carting around an island is definitely this Fool’s preferred vacay style. So much fun and freedom. Navigation and traffic were very manageable, regardless of how many roadies were mixed. A few tips: Bring a bluetoooth speaker and a tumbler. Also give some thought to your wardrobe. The streets are dusty, and you may want to think twice about sporting your best threads. If nothing else, borrow a towel from the hotel to wipe the seats.
Trip Report Belize
Island Accommodations
On the subject of hotels, the Alaia is an excellent property. Our suite was huge and everything on site was extremely satisfactory from amenities to staff. The location is excellent to get anywhere you want, pedal to the metal in the golf cart. Markets are nearby to stock you up on anything you might need, especially rum.
Beaches of Belize
A key point to be made pertains to the beaches, or lack thereof. Ambergris is not really a beach place, especially on the east side of the island. Furthermore, the dreaded sargassum grass makes the water near shore less than ideal. The west side has a bit more beaches and is more swimmable as well. Keep this in mind if you are seeking a vacation destination centered around a beach.
Consistent with the journalistic standards of this blog, a research mission confirming the western beach situation was warranted. To prepare for our expedition, we purchased a styrofoam cooler and bungee cord at a hardware store. (Sidenote: we later discovered they charged an absurd sum but that’s what happens when you don’t ask about the price upon swiping the card. We may be suckers but booo to you ATM Hardware, and the irony of your name).
Belize Travel Report
With the world’s most expensive disposable cooler fully loaded, we set out on the hour long journey to Secret Beach. When we turned down what we thought was the last dirt road to get there, we picked up a couple locals hitch hiking. They explained that they walk this route to and from Secret Beach daily to work construction. Barefoot no less. It was a solid 3 miles before we arrived and dropped off our new friends. We toasted ourselves for repping ‘Merica and the good karma earned by helping some young men get themselves to their livelihood.
Belize Beaches
Secret Beach has a handful of tiki bars that are worth the trip if you are the type who enjoys such things (and if you read this blog, you probably do to a fault). Blue Bayou- with drink service over and in the water. Swingers- a name which pertains not to clientele but rather to actual swings. It’s a relaxing way to enjoy a fruity beverage but note the little swing by the sign is for display purposes only (a public service announcement brought to you by the one in our group whose flight wings may have been awarded a bit prematurely on the puddle jumper). A few other bars are along the stretch but my memory of them is hazy. All fun though.
On our way out we saw our two hitchhikers right where we left them, friendly waves from hands that hadn’t swung a hammer all day. Karma forfeited.
Pics from trip report Belize
Cruisin' Life
Exploring the bars and shops of San Pedro by golf cart is pretty much the land based itinerary on Ambergris. And I’m good with that. Don’t opt for all-inclusive stays. Get out and mix it up. Just be wary of the golf cart parking mafia.
One evening we were trying to get to Maxies restaurant for our reservation. When we stopped at a nearby intersection, a dude popped up and asked what I was looking for. I made the mistake of telling him and that’s all the reply he needed to consider us legally under contract. He sprinted ahead and proceeded to guide us to a parking spot, all with far more attention to the task than the ground crew at the San Pedro airport.
Though I was not trying to participate in this bizarre and unneeded valet service, he considered the deal done and had no problem sticking his hand out. I reluctantly shelled out a crisp U.S. dollar and figured that was more than fair as far as street hustles go. He had a different opinion. His demand was ten dollars and he actually gave me my buck back. That had to be a first in the world of glorified panhandling. So I said fine and pocketed my cash just as his verbal tirade was unleashed on us. We sat for a moment as I was cussed in at least three dialects.
Belize Trip Reporting
With the situation deteriorating rapidly, we decided to relocate to a different parking spot on a side street. Dude followed us and continued his chemically enhanced barrage. It got to the point of near confrontation before he backed off. I figured if push came to shove and the authorities got involved, they would render a quick verdict with few questions asked. I’d be sipping a mojito and he’d be in for a most unpleasant night. He probably saw it that way too and thus disappeared into the dark, with his parting words a curious mix of insults and a reminder to turn my lights off.
A very odd experience and the only occasion during our stay where we encountered anyone who was not friendly and above board. The takeaway from all this is to deploy the same strategy you use for holiday bell ringers. Avoid eye contact and don’t engage with anyone trying to get your attention.
A couple nights later we ate at Caramba (great place btw but make a reservation) and we saw the same fella hustling parking again. He didn’t recognize me and seemed none the worse for the wear from our deal gone bad. In fact by doing some quick math, I figure he might be the highest earner on the island if his fees are being met. I’ll give him props for that. Beats walking barefoot for miles to not work construction.
Belize trip report and blog
H2O Life
The real business around the island involves activities on and under the H2O. The waters off the coast of Ambergris offer world class snorkeling, diving and fishing. If you are considering Belize, you no doubt have these adventures in mind.
We elected to try an attempt at spearfishing and booked a private trip. Sadly high winds forced it to be postponed until the last day, but we are grateful we got it in. Belize Pro Dive Center and the crew of Jessie, Rene, and Sam exceeded all expectations. Though the old time sailors in port at San Pedro may have disagreed, three people taking care of four is a fantastic ratio for service related activities. We were treated like stars.
Speaking of which, we passed a private island on our way to the hunting grounds and the guides indicated it was owned by George Lucas. I have been unable to verify this as fact, however I did find that a nearby island is owned by Francis Ford Coppola. Perhaps the guides confused the directors or maybe there are secrets around those parts beyond just (not so) Secret Beach. Either way, the Coppola compound is slick and can be rented out to those with the privacy requirements, as well as the budget, of a Godfather.
Not to be outdone, Leonardo DiCaprio has an island way off in the distance. The intention has been to develop it as a super duper eco-friendly resort. Someday you can live like Leo. Import supermodels daily by private jet and yacht, while toasting your greenness and scoffing at the nearby golf cart peasants destroying the world.
Belize watersports
After our taste of Hollywood, we arrived at the spearfishing area. The water was still fairly churned up from days of high winds. Not a heck of a lot of instruction was given. We took turns with the spear gun and tried to follow Rene’s lead.
Trip report from Belize
Rene would signal to things underwater but it was hard to interpret what was general narration and what was targeted prey. After much to do and assistance from Rene, I finally took down a mighty stone crab. My buddy bagged one as well. We can attest that fish swim faster than stone crabs.
Our third spearfisher took her turn and Rene pointed out a lobster. This was an educational gesture since lobsters, as we all supposedly knew, were out of season. Well his pointing was all that was needed for the true predator in our group. Luckily those lobsters are skinny and the shot did not connect. It does beg the question though: what if Rene had pointed at me for some reason. Would she have displayed the same hair trigger? I think we all know the answer.
Belize spearfishing
We got plenty of spear time, with our group doing lots of hunting and Rene doing most of the killing. It was enough to work up a big appetite and we cruised over to a private beach to cook up our bounty. Fortunately, the “eat what you kill” rules were not in effect and before long, our guides served us up fresh seafood with all the fixings. It was probably the tastiest meal we had on the trip and certainly the best atmosphere.
With full bellies, we ignored mom’s rule about swimming after eating and our panga sped to Hol Chan marine reserve for snorkeling. As soon as the anchor was set, the crew threw out fish scraps and within seconds, the water was boiling with sharks. We took the crew’s word that these were harmless nurse sharks and we jumped right in. Well two of us did. The ladies waited for confirmation of the harmless species theory, offering more proof why females in our species live longer.
Belizean trip report
These sharks were awesome. You can swim with them and even pet them without fear. No concerns of swimmers losing their limbs or crew losing their tips. All kinds of other sizable fish participated as well. Sure wish I had the spear gun at that point but as the guides advised, you’ll do way more time for killing an illegal fish than for killing a person. Worth noting for encounters with the golf cart parking mafia.
Overall a fabulous day on the water and a perfect way to wrap up our Belize trip. Well done Belize Pro Dive Center. Five stars.
Belize Vacation
So should you Belize it or not? Depends. Look elsewhere if your priorities are beaches, fine dining, upscale vibes, all-inclusive resorts and staying dry on land. There are plenty of options for all that throughout the Caribbean. On the other hand, if you love life on and in the H2O and if you are happy exploring a tropical island with an unpretentious attitude, then gas up a golf cart and match the pace. It will make a Belizer out of you.
Belize Trip report
Belize Trip Report. The Belize Trip Report. MrWanderfool Belize Trip Report
Wisdom of the ‘Fool
Belize Trip Report
Traveler’s Tips: Belize Trip Report
- It’s Central America but they speak English. Better than most of us in fact
- The dollar conversion is 2 to 1. Put away the calculator. You got this!
- Rent the golf cart for the duration
- Be ready to get a little dirty (on the golf cart)
- Take the puddle jumper. They will let you hop on a flight ahead of the one you booked if there is room
- There are bars and shops at the wing of the airport where you catch the puddle jumper. Wait in that section. It’s more fun. You will also be at the front of the boarding line
- The above provides you best chance to be copilot. Well partly. Fellas need not apply
- Maria’s hot sauce is good on everything
- Wear extra sunscreen on your back or a shirt when you snorkel. Else you will be as burning and red as that sauce. Belize it or not
Belize Trip Report
