A re-port on a port overflowing with port...
It’s easy to feel a certain connection with Portugal. If I left my home port and headed straight east, I’d land on that shore. Well if I was doing the navigating, the landing would be somewhere around Guinea. On a proper course, it would be Portugal. With its bold flag reflecting a seafarer’s arrival and the famous native wine, a colorful experience is on tap when you explore Republica Portuguesa. So pop a cork and let the ‘Fool guide you sippin, stumblin and mumblin though Lisbon and beyond.
To Portugal’s credit, this visit unfolded start to finish without my normal misadventures and not a single episode that could have sparked an international incident. A first! As such, I will focus on proper trip reporting rather than my typical blabbering attempts to excuse my blunders and retain my passport.
Lisbon
Ok in full disclosure I thought I ran right into a fracas within hours of arriving in the capital city of Lisbon. We were hungry and didn’t feel like hunting around for restaurant options. So we wandered into Antikuario, a tiny little cafe around the corner.
It was immediately clear that a husband and wife were running the place by themselves. The husband was behind the bar and waved us toward a two top. As soon as we sat, the wife pounced and admonished us for sitting at that table. It looked for sure like she was going to yank my chair out. I thought oh boy, here we go…which way to the embassy. Before I could even plead my case, she cracked a big smile and said she was just messing around. A warm and hearty welcome followed.
Whew. Ya got us. Well played mam. Instantly I loved this lady and her little cafe. It didn’t disappoint either. Excellent food and they treated us like family. Awesome first taste of Portugal.
Lisbon sippin guide and chronicles
Caipirinha. (kī′pə-rē′nyə). That initial taste included the national cocktail. It’s like a mojito. Muddled and green, but without mint. And with cachaca instead of rum. Cachaca is a liquor similar to rum but it doesn’t taste like rum. So I guess it’s not like a Mojito. However mojito is much easier to pronounce, especially after the second round. I loved the caipirinha and found that if I got the “cap” part out of my mouth, it didn’t matter how much I butchered the rest of the word. The server knew what I meant. Then just point to the glass for refills. Who needs google translate.
Speaking of green, they offered green wine. I had visions of a neon hued product at the bottom of the 7-11 chiller and I was sure my lovely companion would opt for traditional red or white…or pink, blue, orange…anything but green. To my surprise she went with it and confirmed it was quite decent. Best of all, the bottle could be had for what you normally pay for a glass in most other countries (north of Guinea). Winning.
Indeed Portugal is an affordable country, especially in matters of vinho.
Are you a Port fan? Apparently that word refers to Portugal (who knew). They make it here. Drink it here. Practically give it away here.
Lisbon sippin guide and chronicles
Explore Lisbon sippin guide
After our hearty and authentic meal, it was time to check into the hotel and get a good night’s sleep.
Ugh, this is what happens when you use a less than reputable booking site. The room looked a little different than the online pics. I tried to make the most of it with a positive attitude and a gallon of green wine, but she wasn’t having it.
Jk. That was some beach bum’s seaside hacienda we stumbled upon during one of our explorations.
Actually our quarters at Valvarde Hotel were superb and they offered free Port wine, a nice custom that can be found throughout Lisbon and beyond.
As for excursions, we were wandering around town our first day and we finally caved to the offers to take a “tuk tuk” tour.
After some moderately successful price negotiations, it turned out to be one of our best decisions. Lisbon is the “City of 7 Hills” and some of those hills are no joke. Our little tuk tuk struggled a bit going up but our driver committed to making up time on the way down.
One of the initial stops was this little pineapple beverage stand. The dude working it was definitely enthusiastic about his craft and his pour was heavy. These pineapples weighed about 10 pounds each after he loaded them up. We sloshed our way up the hill, sippin and holding on for dear life. On hand gripping the tuk tuk and the other, more importantly, the pineapple.
Sippin in Lisbon guide
Interesting architecture abounds but they all charge admission, even the churches. I skipped the offering plate and snuck a pic.
Lisbon is a world class city for art. No, not the kind where you have to pay a fee to get in a stuffy museum. Street art!
…and another money saving tip for my dear readers
Lisbon Sippin and Travel Guide
Now this business model did not make sense. Very odd. Lisbon had several elaborate shops with high end fixtures and merry go rounds and such. Jewelry? Toys? Nope. Sardines. Yes sardines, the stinky canned fish. The gimmick was that you could get a can labeled with any date as some sort of memento. Here gramps, it’s 1938 like your birthday.
It’s possible that someone in my travel party insisted the cans were actually that old and that sardines get better with age. Like (non green) wine. Uhh. It’d be something to watch gramps choke down an 85 yr old batch. Extra zesty!
Sintra
Sintra is a scenic town about an hour from Lisbon, easily accessible by an inexpensive train ride. Most every visitor does a day trip to Sintra to view the castles. There’s nothing tourists love more than seeing how the royalty lived, and continue to live with Madonna now the most famous resident. I can attest to lots of sightings of material girls but sadly, none of the material girl.
Upon arrival in Sintra, we needed to fuel up before our long walk toward the hilltops. We ducked in a little café and we were impressed with how they brought some goodies out to our table immediately. Granted it was nothing we wanted (olives, crackers and a piece of cheese) but we appreciated the gesture. Just like free chips at the Mexican joints back home. Ah but come time for the check, we realized we had our first experience with couvert. That’s a custom of bringing out starters, unrequested, and they are added to the bill. No wonder everything was covered in clear wrap. Reusable appetizers!
At first brush this annoyed me since it felt like we were targeted as the clueless tourists. And maybe we were. However this is a common practice in Portugal and if you don’t want the apps, just politely waive off the server. Then again these little add-ons are very inexpensive. So don’t sweat it or demand to speak to the manager if you forget to decline. Consider couvert as part of the cultural experience. (Plus in our case, the waiter gave us free glasses of port so it all balanced out).
Before heading up the mountain to the castles, we checked out old town Sintra. A lot of character here. Fun little cafes and street markets.
Beyond Lisbon sippin guide
We could have spent hours hanging around but it was time to commence the long, steep walk to the two castles perched way atop neighboring hills. The hike lasted about a quarter mile before we began to question the merits of the effort. Fortunately it was tuk tuk to the rescue again. Rather than a full tour, we just wanted a ride to the top and back. So off we went in a parade of guided tuk tuks and busses catering to others like us, pretending they were on board purely for educational purposes.
I believe I retained a good grasp of the tour narration. In case you want to save a buck in Sintra and do the walk, it went something like this:
Castelo dos Mouros (Moors Castle). This was built high atop the mountain in the 8th century as a lookout. No one ever lived there so “castle” is a misnomer. Originally it didn’t have walls. Not sure why they added them if there wasn’t anything within to protect. Sounds like government funding gone amuck. Good for tourism centuries later though, as evidence by the ticket booth.
Consistent with all invaders in the fort’s first 400 years, this was as close as we got to Moors Castle. The price to pay to penetrate those walls was too high for them, as it was for us.
Sintra trip report
Continuing up the hill, I found this fascinating. Supposedly these roadside accesses are for tunnels that lead all the way up to Moors Castle. And they’re left wide open. Hmm. Not saying I’m skeptical or anything but when Discovery Channel finally comes thru with a show for Mr Wanderfool, we are heading right there to verify. It will make for an exciting first, and likely last, episode.
Next stop was the big attraction. The one you see in all the photos: Palacio Nacional da Pena.
Who, why and how was this built?
Once upon a time a queen fell in love with a local gentleman and they were wed. A charming fellow, he was able to skirt his way around any suggestions of prenups and separate accounts. The husband utilized his newfound wealth to surprise the queen with this vacation home. The problem was that even without building permits and inspections, it took over 20 years to finish. Sadly the queen died before completion and never received her surprise (other than puzzling bank statements and odd explanations at dinner over the years). With the lifespans in that day and age, one might think a 20 year delivery schedule would incur inherent risk.
Fortunately, the story has a happy ending. The gentleman’s mistresses were able to enjoy the lovely estate. Not to gossip, but the ‘Fool thinks that was in play all along. I’ve heard of a married fella keeping a secret bachelor pad but this is elite.
Tuk Tuk Lisbon and Sippin Guide
We contemplated converting our tuk tuk round trip into a one way so that we could walk the palace. An hour plus wait at the ticket office nixed that idea. Unlike ancient builders of castles, we are a people of instant gratification.
Back down the hill we went a tukin’. Nearly missed our train while discovering that the Sintra station is one of a kind in offering no restroom facilities. Plus there are none on the train. So for a few euros we were served two beers and granted two bathroom visits at an adjacent cafe. That’s the whole business model of the joint. Two for one was not an option. We gave away our beers and hopped on the train with seconds to spare.
Cascais
A second train excursion was to Cascais, a coastal town near Sintra. I was a fan of Cascais. Boat life galore and easy going vibes.
The biggest attraction for your IG is the Boca do Inferno (Hell’s Mouth). It reminds me of Devil’s Bridge in Sedona Arizona. Can’t help but to notice similar references in the names. A key difference is that the Arizona version lets you walk across. Much better selfies there. Perhaps too many poor souls at Hell’s Mouth punched their ticket while posting.
We rented e-bikes and buzzed all over that coast. Despite the high speeds and unfamiliar roads, only one bike accident befell us. Even though it wasn’t me, I was judged to be at fault. I need to do better.
I ignored the warnings and lived to tell about it.
Perfect little beach bar to refresh and recuperate from all the e-biking
Portugal is a nation of postcard worthy settings, friendly residents and superb eats & drinks. All at a much better bang for the buck than most other shores you’d wish to land upon. When I’m sitting on my own coast gazing at the ocean, I will reminisce about what lies directly starboard. Starboard and Port, Greens and Reds. Colors that highlight this country from the flag to the wines. Wherever you hail from, point your compass toward Portugal. Stay the course until you are happily sippin, stumblin and mumblin through Lisbon and beyond.
Wisdom of the ‘Fool
Traveler’s Tips: Lisbon Sippin Guide
Those free Appetizers aren’t free. Politely decline if you wish
Bring your walking shoes for Lisbon. It’s the City of Seven Hills, with lots of cobblestones
There are no bathrooms on the regional trains
Ubers are available. And cheap. But not as fun as tuk tuks
Port wine gets better with age. Sardines do not
