Smile and Say Cheese...
One year prior I had celebrated another trip around the sun with a solo journey to Spain. I found the country to be quite appealing even if the company wasn’t. So late September called for a return to Europe and this time done right, with my lovely companion back by my side. Better conversation and certainly better selfies. Off we went on the red eye to the red flagged nation for an impromptu Swiss getaway to Luzern and beyond.
My knowledge of all things Swiss did not extend too far past my trusty knife, instant hot coco, and cheese with holes. Of course, Switzerland also stirs visions of beautiful countryside. So many postcard worthy places to visit, though commitments kept us based in Zurich for a few days.
Zurich
Swiss getaway Luzern trip.
Swiss getaway Luzern details
Notable observations about Zurich: It was clean. It was safe. It rained a lot.
Beyond that, one of the most impressive aspects of Zurich- and all Switzerland for that matter- is the public transportation system. Busses, trams and trains. Like a Swiss watch, they are precise and keep perfect time. Also like the watches, the mechanics of what makes them tick are incomprehensible. At least for yours truly. If you follow this blog, you’re aware of my challenged sense of direction and that handicap was on full display.
Without a doubt, transportation around Switzerland and within the cities is thorough and affordable. All you need to do is study the spaghetti maze grids. Convert the military time. Choose which unpronounceable, 19 letter named stop is closest to your destination. Head to the station. Then spin around in circles and ask a bilingual stranger if they can help. Fortunately, there were plenty of such folk ready and willing to assist.
Once you are on board the bus, tram or train, things get much easier. No need to even pay attention to the route. In fact, turn off all smartphone searches/maps. Keep only the clock app open. Then simply exit the exact minute the ticket says you will arrive. The doors will open right on the dot. It’s a lock that you will be at your destination regardless of whether you just travelled five blocks or five hundred kilometers. As I sat on the tarmac for an hour at JFK, I wondered how they accomplish this feat. Props Swiss.
Random sights around Zurich. Making the most of a rainy 5 days…
Unlike this Zurich worker, you can count on the ‘Fool to call it like it is and not shovel any scheisse.
Swiss Getaway Luzern report.
Train Stations
The swiss getaway Luzern blog.
Zurich Arts and Entertainment
Swiss Getaway Luzern Region
Guten Appetit
In fairness, I should mention I’m not a huge fan of the German influenced food. Not being able to read the menu only exacerbates the situation.
Swiss getaway Luzern and zurich.
Fondue
An important note on Swiss cuisine and the local specialty, fondue. In full disclosure, I am not a cheese lover. No worries though. I figured I could get the meats and hot oil just like we do at the Melting Pot. Nein. The authentic fondue experience offers you the choice of cheese or cheese. A stinky and not so stinky version. Cheese and bread.
What’s the deal here? In our society, there would be humanitarian protests if we provided our inmates only bread and cheese. Yet in Switzerland, we are happily paying $40 a head for the privilege. Geneva Convention, what good are ya? Next they’ll be charging a person for water at the table. Uhh um.
But whadda I know. That cheese puts a smile on lots of faces. Diners. Dairy farmers. Pharma execs in the laxative business…
One final gastro related observation: Switzerland is another European country where they make a tasty pizza but don’t slice it. More culinary anarchy in this otherwise peaceful nation. Of all the gadgets on a Swiss Army knife, why not include a little pizza slicer?
Switzerland Getaway Luzern and Zurich.
Overall Zurich is a fine city. Granted it can feel as though you are in the U.S. That is until you realize how clean and respectable the place is. Nary an unsavory character to be found and a distinct feeling of being safe anywhere, anytime. The biggest threat on the streets is the smell of that cheese wafting out of every corner café. If you can handle that, Zurich is your town and a fine place to commence your Swiss getaway.
Rhine Falls
We made a day trip to Rhine Falls to the north. This was my first experience testing the tolerance of the public transportation system. I confidently bought train tickets at the kiosk and only after we boarded, did we realize we got the right ticket and the wrong train. Or vice versa. I later learned these infractions are not taken lightly if you are randomly checked on this network that is based on the honor system.*
We were indeed randomly checked and by all indications, we could have been fined, ejected and/or forced to do hard time in the stinky cheese factory. Fortunately, our conductor was sympathetic and allowed us to continue without repercussion.
*Swiss travel tip: you can board a train without a ticket, but you can’t enter a bathroom stall at the station without one. Apparently there are limits to one’s honor.
Rhine Falls is a scenic spot and the views of the countryside on any train ride are worth it alone.
Report on Swiss Getaway to Luzern.
Stein am Rhein
A second day trip was planned around the goal of experiencing a real Swiss village after spending so much time in urban Zurich. I chose Stein am Rhein, not far from the falls. Mission accomplished. This little town has the beautiful painted buildings and authentic vibe I was seeking. I half expected Swiss Miss herself to present me a cup of hot coco as I walked down those wet cobblestone streets.
I met a pleasant local gentleman at lunch and he strongly encouraged me to visit the town museum. Mr Wanderfool has a fairly rigid policy against tourist traps and museums, but an exception was made for this old timer’s advice since he seemed so genuine and enthusiastic. That and the fact there was not another thing to see in this tiny village. So off to the museum I went and one credit card swipe later, I was in.
Apparently, this “must see” attraction was a house maintained just like it was X number of years ago. So I walked though rooms and saw mannequins sitting at tables. Pots and pans in a kitchen. Shoes on a work bench. A barn out back with fake cows and a real rooster. The latter being the only functioning thing in the museum, other than the credit card machine.
Flashbacks to being drug around Colonial Williamsburg as a kid. So four minutes later I was out the door, none the wiser but 5 francs poorer. I suspect that nice man was town mayor, if not a partner in the museum. Well played der Burgermeister. Oh well, the Fool’s policy exists for a reason and perhaps a reminder was needed not to breach it.
Swiss getaway Luzern and area.
Luzern
Chateau Gutsch
With Zurich and surrounding areas covered, it was time to switch to real vacation mode and head to Lucerne (Luzern) about an hour south. What a fantastic town. Our vibe shot through the roof when we walked through the scenic streets and arrived at Chateau Gutsch. Actually, we arrived at the base of the Chateau. Only way up to this hilltop hotel is a unique funicular. That means a mountainside railroad type contraption. So up the hill you go elevator style but along a steep track. A regal entrance if there ever was one.
The Chateau Gutsch views were amazing, and it truly felt like a castle. Our suite didn’t disappoint either. Granted I would not choose the wallpaper for my mancave, but it worked in this setting. Superb property and experience. Probably my favorite hotel all time.
Swiss Getaway Luzern ie Lucerne
If there was any doubt, happy hour at the Chateau bar sealed it. A true indicator of a hotel is whether it’s just sleeping quarters or if you want to hang around. Sometimes it was hard to leave the Chateau, even though the town below was equally charming.
Swiss Travel Report
Town of Luzern (Lucerne)
Luzern is a walkable city with lots of shops and restaurants on each side of the river. While quaint, there is also a bit of nightlife and even a casino. One bizarre quirk that Vegas would scoff at: The Luzern casino wants to charge ten francs entry fee just for the right to sit in a modest smoke-filled facility and lose money while buying overpriced cocktails. Huh?
On the bright side the doorman folded pretty quickly at our sticker shock, and we were granted free admission and even a comp drink. Albeit one that was weak and cheap…just like my gambling effort that evening. A proven correlation that every casino I’ve ever set foot in has reversed to its advantage.
MrWanderfool Swiss getaway Luzern
Mt. Pilatus
If you stay in Luzern, you can easily access Mt. Pilatus. We bought the gold pass which offers a long cable car ride up that super steep mountain. Then a cogwheel train ride back down that same mountain which got even steeper on the return. Cogwheel seems to refer to a track system designed to prevent gravity from taking over as you work your way down passages and inclines that are more rollercoaster than choo choo train. Pretty impressive.
Only problem with our journey that day was the weather. Visibility at the 7000 ft summit was roughly 10 ft. Oh well I hear the views are spectacular. At least we got to slush around in snow while still September, which is a first in my book.
Swiss Getaway Luzern countryside
Swiss Getaway Luzern Trip
We returned to Luzern by boat, an effective way to fall even more in love with this corner of the world. I want to go back for another serving of all things Swiss. I long to see blue skies, clear lakes, and towering mountains. How much is that red flag and white cross embedded in my heart? I actually find myself craving bread and cheese.
Wisdom of the 'Fool
Travelers Tips for a Swiss Getaway, Luzern & Beyond:
- Trains are on time. To the minute. Plan accordingly
- Don’t put your feet on the seat. The conductor doesn’t take kindly to it
- Fares on the official site are at half price. They assume locals have a discount pass. I strongly recommend the Trainline app for bookings on domestic Swiss travel
- Tipping in Switzerland is optional. If you want to tip, speak up before they swipe your card
- It’s a pretty expensive country. Think $15- $20 cocktails. Same whether its a 5 star hotel bar or a dive, oddly enough
- It’s pronounced votka not vodka. I was served a screwdriver without the screw in a village bar. Finally the barkeep got it right once the “d” became a “t” after a long ordeal, much to the amusement of the other patrons
- If you order fondue at dinner (and you will), plan to go out to eat afterwards
- Expect to smile alot. Hopefully this Swiss travel report reflects the good vibes and countless photo ops of an amazing country. So say cheese, in front of the camera if not the waiter
