The solo travelers out there get my respect. That path takes zen-like harmony and self-assuredness. Or maybe those folks just don’t have any friends. All I know is I prefer someone else’s company over my own. I have also learned that vacation companions can impact the success of a trip more than the actual destination. What’s better: A five star resort in the Maldives with someone you can’t stand or the cheesiest hotel in Cancun with someone you always have a blast with? Instagram likes aside, the latter is going to be more rewarding.
Of course our goal is to have both a fantastic trip and amazing company. Booking a destination is easy enough with all the ratings and stars for every aspect. Unfortunately there is no rating system (yet) for travel partners. So until that app is invented, follow the vacation companions guide before you click “reserve”.
Vacation Companions by Species
Early Bird
This really only matters if you are sharing a room. Let’s face it, there are morning people and there are non-morning people. It’s remarkable how someone can party like a rockstar until sunrise and still be compelled to get up at 7:30. And there is nothing louder than another person stirring around with their morning rituals. The sleepy head will swear there is a construction crew in the room as they bury themselves deeper and deeper in the covers. Inevitably F bombs will explode out of that occupied bed. The morning person will look up from the blender and cheerfully ask: Oh did I wake you? Ready for a smoothie??
Warning sign: After your nights out on the town, one of you always wakes up to discover texts from hours earlier saying last night was a blast and how about breakfast.
Sleeping Quirks
Like the morning dilemma above, bedtime idiosyncrasies can also be easily solved by separate rooms. Should you find yourselves in the same quarters, you will realize how different people can be on the sleep habits. Are you a lights out, quiet zone and count sheep type? If so, have fun with one of those modern creatures who cannot even contemplate sleep without the TV on. Perhaps they also require a fan blowing at gale force winds and a temp setting that is suitable for either a penguin or an iguana. Every bedtime will be a challenge with this roomie. On about the third night of getting up at 3 am to turn off the TV, you will begin to have visions of that king pillow pressed firmly over their head instead of under it.
Warning sign: One of you slept like a baby on the plane. The other says they can’t sleep on a plane.
Parent/Child
Does one of you have your act together and the other not so much? The “parent” here is the one who makes a list, packs with military precision a day in advance, finds the right airport gate and navigates new territories like Magellan. The “child” throws stuff together an hour before departure, forgets to pack underwear, and if left to fend for themselves in a foreign land, will likely wake up in an alley missing a kidney and of course their phone charger.
The matrix for travel success is as follows. Two parents can travel together. A parent and child can travel together. Two children can not travel together. By day 4, they will find themselves broke, lost and wearing the other’s lone pair of undies.
Warning sign: As the airport Uber is on the way, someone texts to ask what the weather will be like where you’re going.
Active Status
There are those whose ideal vacation is one long beer commercial. Nonstop round the clock action and adventure. There are others who would target max initiative as dragging the cooler to the beach…where they will sit day after day with not a care in the world. It’s critical that vacation companions be on the same page as far as activities otherwise somebody is going to be very bored, or somebody is going to need a vacation after their vacation.
Warning sign: Both of you have a gym membership. Only one of you uses it.
Vacation companions checklist for trips.
Vacation Companions by Budget
Friend Zone Budgets
No way around it. Budgets between travel buds need to be relatively in synch. When you are heading out with a pal, you should be marching in step financially from the time you book your trip. If not, there will end up being disappointment, if not outright conflict, at some point.
A quick field test: When you go out with this friend, do you feel like things sort out equally or do you always end up with the lion’s share of the bar tabs? If the latter, take note. A vacay with that person will result in very lopsided credit card statements and a long trail of IOUs with no actual cash value. Key factors:
Accommodations
One of you intends to stay in a 5 star hotel with your own room. The other aims to bunk up in a 2 star option that looks “fun” on the website.
Warning sign: They found a deal on whackytripmonkey.com for half the price of every other booking site.
Dining
Traveler A aspires to quality dining and seeks out the best restaurants in a new location. Traveler B focuses on hotels with free breakfast and an all you can eat buffet. Indeed Traveler B will plan to get their daily nourishment from one big afternoon helping at the trough while Traveler A works diligently to secure dinner reservations from the top of the Yelp list.
Warning sign: Someone shows up at the airport with an enormous bag of carry-on goodies.
Excursions
One of you envisions awesome excursions and the only dilemma is the time to do them all. The other insists that they just want to chill by the pool, however they will tag along if someone else is needed. Translation: They want to go. They just don’t want to pay for it.
Warning sign: As one checks in, the other collects coupons from the brochure kiosk in the lobby.
Significant other budgets
If you are bringing a significant other and picking up most or all of the freight, things get much simpler. Technically it’s your call as to the budget level. The tricky part is if you find that your sweetie has champagne tastes on a White Claw budget. The sugar daddy/sugar momma role will get old quickly when your sugar is made to feel not so sweet… a Splenda daddy or momma.
Confucius say: When every part of a trip is X2, traveling gets mighty costly.
Warning sign: Your partner’s last relationship was with someone much wealthier than you and their IG from those days looks like the Travel Channel.
Best way to handle all things budget -regardless of relationship status- is to address it on the front side. Talk about your expectations, preferences and set parameters. Oh and make sure you each have an electronic money transfer app. Otherwise six months later someone will still be hearing this at happy hour: My bad, I meant to stop by the bank and grab that cash I owe you.
Vacation companions guide.
Vacation Companions by Prep Time
With few exceptions, this one is directed at the ladies. Sorry, don’t hate the ‘Fool. I’m just the messenger. It’s a fact that all but the most modern of men are super low maintenance when it comes time to get ready to go out. If a guy is due at dinner at 6:00 and he’s still in the pool at 5:45, no worries. The pool counts as a bath. Drip dry on the way to the room, throw on some clothes and he’s seated at 5:59.
The fairer species can be a vastly different story. The day might need to be built around prep time for dinner. There is showering, make up, primping, hair and the inevitable mini fashion show. Fellas know all about the front row seat for the catwalk from bathroom to balcony as outfit after outfit gets modeled. Then tossed aside as dreadful. Where did all these garments come from and how did they instantly become unwearable?
Even though every outfit is enthusiastically approved, his requested opinions will be wholly ignored and she will finally settle on something that was maybe his fourth choice. Then it’s on to shoes. Same process. She demands his input on something he knows nothing about and in spite of the fact that his preference would be flip flops. Tick tock, tick tock. Eventually she will pick the shoes she knew she would wear all along and she’s ready….after she swaps sun dresses one more time. Roughly 2 hrs and 15 minutes by the stopwatch and the fabulous couple is 25 min late for the reservation.
Vacation Companions criteria.
If all this stresses you out, then it’s you, bro, who must adjust accordingly. Yes you, because your lovely plus one isn’t compromising in this department. Add in time. Commence meditation techniques. Break into the minibar.
Pros tip: Just as dad used to do with your teenage sister, hedge your bets. If the reservation is at 6:30, say it’s at 6:00. This is the only solution. She will never know and in fact will be proud of herself for being 5 min “early”. Compliment her. Win win.
Warning sign: Pay close attention to benign sounding questions like do I have time to wash my hair or does the room have a blow dryer. These phrases equate to a minimum of one extra hour of prep time.
Choose your vacation companions wisely. Then remember they are dysfunctional creatures who require levels of communication, understanding and patience that would break Mr. Rogers. With those boxes checked, it’s likely you can avoid hurt feelings and the silent treatment on the long flight home. If things do start to go downhill during a trip, remind yourself that their company is probably better than just your own. Be happy you have that snoring, grouchy, broke slob by your side and that you each still have your kidneys and undies. Bon Voyage!
